I woke up the next morning and had cereal for breakfast. Then I spent some time with ‘the baby’. It was strange calling the wife ‘mum’, as she was only a year older than me and she looked so young and we got on like friends. The first week was ok, Christmas day came, I had been there three days and it was nice. I didn’t expect anything. I was just looking forward to spending time with the kids more than anything, but they had bought me a couple of presents. We had Christmas lunch and then around 20:00 (8 PM) the younger ones had to go to bed. I stayed up for a while watching the television, then I went up to bed too. Everything was fine. I was still worried about how I was going to get back to Oldham without a ticket, but was trying to keep my head down and figured as I get EMA, I will get a ticket using my phone and just disappear if I had to. I had £30 in my bank on the Friday before the new year and thought I’d just leave it in there and then order a ticket nearer to the time in case I got caught. The day after, they took me to see Southend beach. Although it was cold, I loved it. The older boy and I played a bit of football and we walked halfway down the pier. A beach is my favourite place and, although I hadn’t been to many, when I did go, I just felt relaxed and happy.
New year came and we stayed in, watched the fireworks from the kitchen window. When you looked out of it, you could see all Southend’s High Street. Just after midnight, my mum rang me to wish me Happy New Year. She was at her friends having a drink. She went on to say my brother was paralytic in the bathroom, he had drunk that much. They were all laughing. I went to the landing and said to her “Mum, I think I’m stuck, can you arrange to come and get me?”. She went to talk to her boyfriend while I was on the phone, came back and said “He can’t drive out of Oldham without a satnav. So that was that. I put the phone down and went back into the living room. I don’t know why I expected anything else, to be honest, as I was in this situation because I had nowhere to spend Christmas and they didn’t want me at theirs anyway.
It came to Tuesday and I really needed to book a ticket. I had 2 days. I got my bank card and there was a cash machine at the bank facing the house, so I went to check it to make sure I had enough money to pay for it. I went over and had £60. I took ten pound out and left 50 in. I looked up and saw ‘the man’ watching me through the kitchen window. So I decided to go to the shop instead of going straight back to the house. I got myself a couple of magazines, a pack of ten cigarettes and I bought the younger ones some sweets. I went back into the house and ‘the man’ and his wife were sat there. He stood up and said, “I didn’t realise that you had money”. “I checked my bank and my EMA from college has gone in I had £30 and took £10 out”, I said, to ensure I still had £30 to get my coach ticket, it wasn’t that much to get a return there and back, but I wanted to be on the safe side.
‘The man’ then said, “Well you’re going to have to find a way to give us some money, to pay your way for living here”. I just stood and looked at him, thinking I am not living here; I didn’t ask to live here and how was I going to pay my way. I began to feel I was trapped in some way. Just started thinking about the money I had in my bank, to hopefully get me out of there. He asked me to get the other £20 out. So I went back to the bank, took it out and went back to the house. I was relieved, knowing that I still had some money. I handed him the £20 and then he asked for my card. I tried saying there was nothing on it, but he took it anyway.
What was I going to do? I have no backup plan at all. No ticket, no card, but I still had my phone. But who could come and get me? I already had asked my Mum. I didn’t really know anyone else that could drive, as we were all still only young. About ten minutes after, they said their friends Tom and Jane were calling over and they had a daughter the same age as me, also called Stacey. I didn’t really know what to think or how to feel. I just sat there, thinking of different ways to leave. I didn’t want to leave college as I had done so well. I enjoyed college and with everything I had been through, I had always wanted a career. And although I had no fixed address, I had places I could get my head down. I had my friends and my college tutor was like my pastoral worker. She would reassure me, give me advice and help me one to one if I needed it to get through my course.
There’s a knock on the door, ‘the boy’ goes and answers it and in walked their friends, their daughter and their 2 sons. The older son and ‘the boy’ went upstairs, everyone else went and sat around the kitchen table. I just sat on the kitchen side facing them. They introduced me and said that I was staying with them, so their daughter could come around at any time. They stayed for a couple of hours and then left. They then made tuna pasta for tea that night and said they made it as they knew I really liked it. I didn’t know if I was coming or going, one minute I didn’t feel comfy in the house, next I felt they were trying. I genuinely didn’t know what to think. Maybe I was being hard work, they were giving me a roof over my head after all. I was playing with ‘the baby’ after tea and got him ready for bed. Then I went up to bed myself. I couldn’t think what to do at all. I knew I wanted to go back to what I knew. And as much as I loved spending time with the boys, and being around them helped me, I couldn’t live with ‘the man’.
It came to the morning I was supposed to be at college. I was still no closer to getting back. I was asked to take ‘the boy’ to the library. I didn’t know where it was but he showed me the way near southend high street. We got in the library and I registered for a library card. I logged onto the computer and onto my email. I emailed my college tutor saying I was down south, but something had happened so I would be off for another week. I had no idea how long it would take me, but she had helped me so much and I didn’t want to let her down or lose my place. I guess it was a way to bide some time for myself. Me and ‘the boy’ headed back to the house.
When we got in, ‘the wife’ wasn’t well. She had bad legs, known as ‘bow-legs’ and were very weak. Now and again, they would go on her and she wouldn’t be able to walk. They went to the hospital and she was sent home with a Zimmer frame and crutches. She was to use the Zimmer frame until she felt strong enough to use her crutches. She was in a lot of pain with them and struggled with ‘the baby’. That night I got a phone call from my friend Martin, asking how I was. We were having a laugh, but when I got off the phone, ‘the man’ took it off me and put it in the bin. I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t understand why he did it, but what could I do?
I began to do a lot for ‘the baby’. His bottles, his nappies, get him ready, play with him, settle him and the night feeds. I began to sleep on the settee in the living room, which was back to back to the bedroom of ‘the man’ and his wife. I did this so I could hear the baby wake up and I could get to him before he woke anyone else. It got to the point where ‘the baby’ would only settle for me, as his mum wasn’t spending much time with him due to her struggle to get around the house. A couple of weeks had passed, and ‘the wife’ had managed to get herself onto crutches. So she was more mobile. She and ‘the man’ began arguing a lot. I realized there was no way I could go anywhere. I was 17, 300 miles from anywhere I knew, with no phone, no money and no bank card. I guess I just had to put up with it and hope for the best.
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