To follow up on a previous article, it was close to Christmas 2006, I was now aged 17. I had college and a job and, although I was back living at my mum’s at that point, I didn’t feel wanted there because of the previous years. I used to go to my nana’s, who was the mum of the man I lived with at 13. One day I received a phone call “Hi Lou Lou”. I knew exactly who it was, it was ‘the man’ himself. I hadn’t seen him since my ribs were broken when I previous lived with him. I remember standing there, shaking for a split second, thinking “How has he got my number?”. He then went onto say “I got your number off nana. I want to let you know I have another son and wife. Also, I have done anger management and I don’t hit the boy anymore”. He went into normal chit chat and then he said goodbye and hung up. I was 17 just got a new job was at college and I thought that perhaps he really had changed. Over the next few days he rung me and his new wife messaged me often. She seemed nice and I was able to speak to the boy aswell, who I was close with when I lived with them, as I explained in a previous article.
The following week it was coming up to Christmas and they were being nice. Life at home hadn’t changed, although by now I’d given up the hope that it would. ‘The man’ rung and asked if I’d like to go and spend Christmas with them. I thought “It’s two weeks. I have everything ready to go if I want to.” They seemed to want to spend Christmas with me and it would be nice to see the boy again, so I agreed to go. I booked a return coach ticket that cost £19. I was setting of on the 22nd and returning on the 5th of January. This fitted in with college term times, so seemed like there was no reason for me not to go. If only I knew then what I know now.
The morning on the 22nd of December I was woken up at 5 by my nana, we got ready and set off. I got on the coach and waved her goodbye. I was a bit scared, as I never travelled anywhere on my own. I had £20 in my bank and started to worry about things like “What if they aren’t there?” or “What if I get lost?”. The wife texted me throughout my journey and as I was coming up to London, she phoned me saying “‘The man’ has set off and he will be there for when you get off the coach.”. It was a ten-hour coach journey and I thought to myself “Why is his wife not coming with them to meet me as well?”
The coach stopped and everyone started to get off. I stood up to look out of the window and straight away I saw ‘the man’ standing there on his own. I got off and walked to him, he went and got my case off the coach and said “Come on then, Lou Lou”. I just followed him and didn’t say anything as I didn’t know what to say. We went through London Victoria station and had to get on the tube to Southend, Essex, where he lived. When we finally arrived it was around 20:15 (8:15PM). I had been travelling since 06:00 (6AM)that morning. I was so tired. When we got off the train in Southend and walked out of the station, I saw the boy and he was standing next to a woman with a pram.
It was so dark. I gave the boy a cuddle and we had to walk up this long street. It must have taken around 20 minutes. We had walked past loads of shops and there weren’t any houses. I was confused. Then we ended up outside a carpet shop and walked round the side of it and they said “Here we are”.
They lived above the shop. As you walked in, there were stairs that went straight up. At the top of the stairs, to the left, was the bathroom and to the right there was a landing. As you get to the bottom of the landing, there were stairs facing you and to the right there was a front room. In the front room on the left was a door to the kitchen and on the right was a door that lead to the bedroom of ‘the man’, his wife and the baby. We walked in the front room and I wanted to hold the baby, so I said “Where should I put my case?”. ‘The man’ replied “Upstairs is your room. One side is the boy’s, the other side we have done for you.
I went to the stairs next to the living room and at the top was a large bedroom split in two halves. My half was on the right. I went and put my suitcase next to the bed and behind me was ‘the man’. He said “Before you go downstairs, there are a few rules”. I thought to myself “Okay, that’s fair enough, they are letting me stay it’s only right that way I know not to do nothing wrong, as I was very scared of him”. He then said “The boy calls my wife mum, you are to do the same”. I thought “Is he serious? She is one year older than me and I have literally just met her”. I then thought “Well maybe it’s to help the boy with his routine”. He then asked to see my coach ticket, I got it out of my bag and passed it him, not thinking anything of it. Maybe he would put it somewhere safe, but instead, he took it from my hand, looked at it and said “You won’t be needing that”. I told him I had college and a job to go back to, plus all my friends. He looked straight at me and ripped it apart. I couldn’t believe it, what was going on?! I thought “Guess, in two weeks time, I’ll just order another coach ticket or I will try get another copy of it”. I was so tired. I had just got there, I didn’t want to make things awkward as I didn’t know what would happen. “I’ll Keep my head down for two weeks as planned then I will just get off if I had to”, I thought. It was starting to become clear to me that I had possibly been far too naive. That all his stories about having changed for the better were just that, stories.
I then followed him downstairs and his wife was in the kitchen. She shouted, to see if I wanted a brew. I walked in and as I went to sit down at the large kitchen table that they had, I noticed something. There was paperwork all over it and as I looked, I realized this is my paperwork from being a child. I looked up and didn’t have to say anything. The man said “Have a look through it. I told you your mum was to blame. Look at this one and look here”, passing them to me, one by one, off the table. I thought to myself “Is he serious? I have travelled over 12-hours, he has ripped my ticket up”. And although my past bothered me, as I had no answers, I wondered whether I really want to be doing this right now.
This was supposed to be a nice break for me, I was so drained. I allowed him to tell me what he wanted to say and then said “Can I look at all this properly tomorrow? I am tired”. He said “Sure. It’s all there for you to see. I have nothing to hide”. I said “Goodnight”, then got up and went to bed.
I genuinely couldn’t believe how naive I had been. That night, I remember going to sleep wondering whether I had made the biggest mistake – This is the calm before the storm and I could never have predicted what was coming.
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