I am fast forwarding a few articles here, but I just wanted to shine a bit of light on my relationship with my mum. Just to clear up any confusion.
Don’t get me wrong, over the years I’ve really punished my mum and never understood why certain things happened. I don’t want to write too much on how we got where we are now, as I really want have a link between each article. However, me and my mum are quite close. I’m still in the middle of learning and understanding certain things, but I cannot fault her. She has been great with me since I’ve had Kadie, my daughter. She’s amazing with Kadie and I couldn’t ask for a better nana to my little girl.
I want to share my story, as I want to help others in any way I can, but please know my mum also has a story. Could she have done more at the time? Yes, perhaps, but she isn’t a strong individual for her own reasons and I understand that now. My mum has really suffered throughout her life and it made her really vulnerable. Now, looking back and learning to understand that others also have a story, which has caused a ripple effect and impacted on my story, makes me want to do this even more.
My mum has been my rock and would do anything for anyone. Sometimes we fail to make the right decisions, but she NEVER abused me or participate in the abuse. I want to cut the cycle for me, my mum and kadie as a family. And while I’m learning to live my own life, I want to help them live as well as other individuals that I may be able to help. It does all make sense the further we go through my journey, but I did just want to emphasise that it wasn’t my mum that abused me. She’s suffered herself and I wouldn’t want to tar the person she is with something so negative. Me and my mum were victims throughout, although she was older. Maybe she should have been the “protector”, but it isn’t always that easy and that will become clearly visible further on in my journey.
Being a mum isn’t easy and there is no manual. When circumstances beyond your control happen, sometimes individuals just try to keep the peace and make the best out of a rubbish situation. I know there will be people out there that are in similar circumstances to mine. Thankfully, I have a strong head and react to things differently. That’s why I’m taking it upon myself to cut the cycle, shuffle the deck and change the cards we were dealt. Not just for my sake, but for Kadie and my mum too. They both deserve happiness and I hope we can get there together.
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